Friendly Face

I must have a friendly face.

Or maybe it’s more like my face says: “Sap. Will fall for scheme.”

Over the years, it seems like I am constantly the target of anyone peddling a product. Magazine sales. Coupon books (not the ones the schools sell). Super car buffing and detailing. The list goes on.

Panhandlers love me. Did I ever tell you the one about the young lady who just needed a little “gas money to get back to Chattanooga?”

In any case, over the years, it seems like I have been frequently approached in the name of commerce and free enterprise.

Back when the kids were little, there was this money making scheme that was spreading across the land called “Network Marketing,’’ also known as “Multi-Level Marketing” (MLM). Who knows? It could still be all the rage. I haven’t heard about it recently.

Fifteen years ago, I admit, I didn’t know about the practice at all. Nothing, that is, until I had been approached more than once. It seemed like I must have been the perfect prospect. Or, maybe it’s the friendly face.

All of these memories came rushing back a couple weeks ago when my dad told me a story about an encounter he had with a gentleman who approached him in the grocery store parking lot. Maybe the practice is resurfacing? Or maybe that fellow needed “gas money to get back to Chattanooga” too?

Anyway whatever the case, back in the day, it was clear I had a rapidly developing situation on my hands. I had to quickly become self-educated because in a one-year span, it became a frequent nuisance. Then, I developed some tips and tricks to avoid the traps.

If you might find it helpful, I’ll do a quick how-to. (If you’re in the business, apologies in advance).

Here’s a typical scenario.

Some polite, nicely dressed guy would find some reason to come up and talk with you out of the blue…might be admiring the kids…or the football sweatshirt you were wearing…or something like that.

In any case, he’d have an opening line. "Hey, I love that St. Louis Cardinals jersey. Are you a fan?” He’d engage you in friendly conversation. (Amazingly, he’d be from St. Louis or his sister-in-law lived there). Eventually, he’d introduce himself. I’d return in kind. We’d chat a bit more. And that would be that.

Well, the first time it happened, I had a nice encounter with the fellah in West Town Mall. I thought nothing of the three-minute exchange until I got a phone call late on a Sunday night – coming up on 10 p.m. - about two weeks later. The dude reminded me we had met in the mall and he proceeded to tell me about a great business opportunity. Eventually, I was able to politely interrupt and say “No, thanks.”

I gather the ‘opportunity’ is I would sell some products and he would get some benefits. I don’t think that is exactly how he explained it. I remember some buzzwords. “Tremendous growth potential” comes to mind.

The whole thing happened to me again a few weeks later. Same outline. Same type of exchange. Different guy.

About a week later, he phoned me, too. Again, it was late on a Sunday night. Another time, it happened near the meat counter in Kroger. Same outline.

I think I must’ve fit the prototype of a guy who they could recruit (um, I mean, who might be interested in “Tremendous growth potential”). I was a young(ish) professional. Family man. (I think Holly was about three years old at the time). Anyway, there must’ve been some reason I kept getting picked. Like I said…maybe the face.

On a third occasion, just a couple weeks later, I saw that the first gentleman was back in business - this time at Wal-Mart. He had found Lisa and started his routine one day near the mouthwash and toothpaste aisle. I think he was admiring the cute kid in the shopping cart.

When I saw him engaging Lisa, I briskly went over, reintroduced myself and reminded him of our earlier late night phone conversation I reiterated that we weren’t interested.

I might’ve added something about “Don’t bother us again and do I need to find a Wal-Mart manager and ask what he’d think of the 'Shakedown on Aisle 4.’

In any case, since that day in Wal-Mart when the kids were little, I haven’t been approached.

Maybe it is because the kids are older. Maybe it is because I stopped wearing sports jerseys after the Choppers days. Or perhaps my face doesn’t have ‘gullible’ stamped across the forehead.

Well, there was that one time about the gas money.

Still, I’m not interested. So if this ‘opportunity’ exists and you’re in the business, please don’t be offended.  It may be just the thing for you and it is wonderful and all that. But, also, please don’t ask me to get involved.

It’s just not for me.

JG

Originally posted 2/10/2013

Improv Tonight

They’re back on stage tonight – the FHS Comedy Improv Team.

For the seniors (and by my count there are seven on the team) this is the start of the final countdown to graduation. Just three more Improv shows starting with tonight’s show. 

All that to say, if you love watching the FHS Improv Team in action, come on out. If you haven’t seen them in action, here’s your chance. What’s the wait?

You can see them playing some of your favorite games, which might include: Party Quirks, Improv Jam, Three Lives, DVD Game, Bucket Game, Bell Game, Space Jump, Halftime…and many many more.

You can buy tickets at the door - $5 for general admission; $4 for APAC members.

See you there! 

JG

Originally posted 2/8/2013

Priority Mail

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night …

Nor Saturday delivery, apparently, it seems.

The U.S. Postal Service – which has operated in the red for a number of years, it seems – announced yesterday that it will cease Saturday delivery in August a cost-cutting measure. The USPS will continue to offer Saturday package service.

It seems like a good move to me. I mean, after all, do we really gain a lot from Saturday delivery? If you get something business-related you can’t do anything about it until Monday anyway. 

And, if I understand correctly, delivery to post office boxes will continue on Saturday as is current practice.

And anything to cease (or at least slow) the dizzying rate of postage increases is fine by me.

I can’t even remember how much a first class postage stamp costs now. Didn’t the rate just increase? Hold on a second. For your benefit and mine, I’ll look it up (PAUSE HERE. INSERT ON-HOLD MUSIC). OK. I’m back. I just looked it up. The rate increased from 45 cents to 46 cents late last month. I couldn’t have told you either rate. Old OR New.

In any case, it would seem the loss of a Saturday home delivery of bills, direct mail postcards and, for us recently, a smattering of sales propaganda from colleges including places like St. Leo University in Florida, Oral Roberts University in Tulsa, OK, and St. Bonaventure University in NY (HINT – Paul isn’t going to pursue an undergraduate degree at any of those universities despite the nice packaging) won’t be a painful price to pay.

Letter writing, as we know, is a lost art form. I remember getting great chronicles from friends in the past. My friend, Bill Cooke, and I sent a number of letters back and forth in the 1980s, for example. But no one does that any more. With easy access to email, texting and instant messaging , people just aren’t willing to pay those 46 cents (and wait a few days) for correspondence to come or go.

Otherwise, what exciting mail do you get? Packages? Yes, those are wonderful (but not affected by this plan).  Greeting cards? True, but you can plan ahead to ensure early arrival. Event Tickets?  Postcards? RSVPs, Confirmations and Acceptances? Newsletters, magazines, journals?

Help me out, here, I’m running out of examples of things we’d really miss by waiting two days to get the mail on Monday.

I guess the bottom line is we adjust from time to time when market factors necessitate change.

And sometime, somewhere, some clever blogger will write one of those ‘Do you remember when?” columns about Saturday mail delivery. Hey, come to think of it, that’s not a half bad idea.

I’ll send a ‘note to self.’ I’ll just plan to get it out on Thursday so it’ll arrive on a Friday. 

JG

Originally posted 2/7/2013

Free Parking

And the winner is…

Over the past few weeks, enthusiasts of the venerable board game, Monopoly, have been engaging in a contest to spruce up the game a bit.

It had been about 60 years since the company had introduced a new game piece to go along with the collection of tokens including the top hat, the race car, the thimble and so forth. The Scottie Dog, the most recent addition, came ‘on board’ in the early 50s.

The online contests allowed Monopoly lovers to take matters into their own hands. They were allowed to vote from a list of contestants while, at the same time, they also were able to eliminate a piece.

And the winner is…the cat.  

Meanwhile, the flat iron was voted off the board by a narrow margin. It’s possible none of the voters have even used such an item.

The financial feline – which, as of yet, does not have a name – will make its debut later.

Monopoly has some historical relevance in our family as it does with many families. We used to play the game a lot when I was a kid. But, I will admit I haven’t played the game in years. Maybe 20 or more?

I’m sure that is one reason why the Monopoly folks established the contest…to remind folks like me about all the fun I used to have playing this board game (and others).

When I came home this evening, I immediately went looking to find our game. I guess the ‘classic’ rendition is at my folks’ house. I’m sure it doesn’t shock you to learn that the version we have is the baseball edition. Instead of hats, shoes and cars the baseball adaptation has caps, gloves and umpire masks and the 'properties’ are MLB teams.

Growing up, though, the original was a part of a classic lineup that included Sorry, Yahtzee and The Game of Life. Later, I added many of the football games I have told you about before. Then, there was the Trivial Pursuit craze of the 1980s.

Of course, when personal computers became more prevalent and, after the advent of video games, some of the classic parlor games took a back seat. We still have many of them in the family collection. They just don’t make frequent appearances.

Perhaps that was the driving force behind the online campaign – to give the wheelbarrow, the thimble and the horse some relevance in an electronic world. Or maybe it serves simply as a nostalgic reminder of the more simple fun we all enjoyed as tots and teens.

No matter the cause, the campaign certainly spiked interest. You couldn’t buy this kind of publicity. Well, you could, but it would just cost as much or more than a Super Bowl advert.

And in the final tally, potential tokens like the guitar, the diamond ring, the robot, and the helicopter came up a little short this time. Cats rule.

Roger never doubted it for a minute.

JG

Originally posted 2/6/2013

It’s a Virtue

I have a bad habit of picking ‘the wrong line.’ Does that ever happen to you?

And if I am in a hurry, it’s almost a guarantee: The shorter the line, the longer the wait.

Such was the case on Saturday.

I was off to the FHS Theatre workday. I stopped in to Kroger to buy a flat of bottled water. I sized up crowd and I got in the shortest queue.

Once in line I noticed there was an older fellow up front - with a younger gentleman (father and son? Uncle and nephew?). Then, I noticed the older guy wanted to pay for his food in two separate orders. No biggie. A few more minutes and out.

Until he didn’t agree with the price.

“$11.98???,” he said. “How does this cost $11.98???”

“It’s $5.99 per pound, “ the cashier politely responded. “Two pounds. $11.98.”

Easy enough. Right? I mean, we’re in Farragut, TN. It’s not like we are in on some crowded street corner in New York City where things can get testy.

 

All was moving along, until he asked to inspect his receipt and dispute the charges. And at that moment, it didn’t matter if I was near Times Square or Farragut Towne Square. The minutes were ticking away.

Fortunately, another cashier saw what was going as the queue continued to grow. He opened up next door. I paid for the water and was on my way.

For me…patience is not necessarily a version. It should be. But, realistically, that it is is a work in progress.

During past job interviews, I have been asked many of the predictable questions. One that you can always count on is “What is your greatest strength? What is your greatest weakness?”

Recently, I was talking with my sister about how you can use some of these predictable interview questions as a chance to highlight your skills and experience.

When I have encountered the ‘weakness’ question, I have used it as a chance to show examples of self-awareness and growth.  To that question, I have frequently said “I am impatient.” Or better phrased, “I possess a lack of patience.” I’ll often couch it in terms of working within a team and waiting on someone else for key information in order to achieve a task.

I’ll usually finish up by saying that I understand other staff members have deadlines and competing priorities and I tie a bow on the answer by saying “By working on this lack of patience, it gives me insight into what other staff members deal with in their daily jobs.”

And that’s all legit, real-world stuff.

Actually, a lack of patience runs in the family.  It affects my dad at times. And his dad, my grandfather. Well, let’s just say there are some classic family stories about his lack of patience.

I wonder if this goes all the way back to the Old Country. I wonder if, when ol’ Arthur crossed the Atlantic with his wife Frances and sons William in 1635 if he had an antsy streak, too.

“I say, Governor. Can’t you make this vessel move any faster?” Can’t you see it now. Pilgrim Gary wanting to speed up the voyage to Plymouth England to Roxbury, Mass?

Itchy like the rest of us. Maybe, after all, its in our DNA.

In any case, please understand, as for this generation, the need is duly noted. I am working on it. If, some years down the road, I have an interview, I have the answer to the question ready to go.

And in the meantime, I just have to re-train myself. If I want to get through the store faster, “ALWAYS remember to get in the LONGEST line.”

JG

Originally posted 2/5/2013

Aftermath of The Big Game

So, Super Bowl XLVII is in the books. A game that threatened to turn into a blow-out actually became a very interesting game (especially after the power blow-out).

Looking back years from now, what will we remember about this game? The Black Out? The stunning pre-game performance of “America, the Beautiful” by the students from Sandy Hook Elementary (with Jennifer Hudson)?

A few plays may stand out but, after a while, don’t most of those fade? How many do you remember from last year’s Super Bowl? The year before?

Throughout 47 Super Bowls, I would argue that only a handful of plays stand out. Sadly one of the most notable was the last play of Super Bowl XXXIV when the Titans came up one yard short on the last play of the game.

Otherwise, there was Lynn Swann’s great catch in Super Bowl X, there was the Joe Montana pass to John Taylor, there have been a few last second field goal attempts (some good; some not). But most games fade into our memory until we see NFL Films highlights some years later and remember the key moments.

As I’ve told you before, I often mark major events on our own timeline – a comparison/contrast to where we were and what we were doing at the time.

I was telling Holly, yesterday, that the thing I remember most about the first Super Bowl I can remember (hint: it was one of the earlier ones) is that I successfully learned to tie my tennis shoes that day.

The Super Bowls that came along during my childhood and teen years were frequently juxtaposed against the other neighborhood kids who rooted for rival teams. The Oakland Raiders I rooted for so strongly as a kid lost a number of heartbreakers to the Pittsburgh Steelers so, naturally, you dreaded your first encounter with a Steeler backer after they won a Super Bowl in the 70s.

When I moved into the dating era, I actually missed two Super Bowls because the games coincided with dates. Ironically, both of those involved the 49ers. I didn’t see them actually win a Super Bowl until their third try – the come from behind winner in Super Bowl XXIII.

By then, Lisa and I had eased into the ‘early marriage phase’ of our relationship and we often invited friends over (or were invited) to watch ‘The Big Game.’  I experienced most of the Super Bowls in the 20s that way. And, then, my Fantasy Football years began, and Super Bowl gatherings often included fellow league members.

Super Bowls in those eras were as much a social event as they were about watching a sporting event.

Since then, our Super Bowl watching has been varied. We hosted baseball families the first year we lived in this house.

That was year of Super Bowl XXXVII – when the Raiders played, and lost, ‘The Big Game.’ That was the Super Bowl that got so much attention back, back, back, back in the days leading up to this one.

In the Choppers’ heyday, we frequently watched the Super Bowl with some other baseball families (including our dear friends, the Golds, who hosted a Super Bowl bash the years New Orleans beat Indy in one Super Bowl and Green Bay downed Pittsburgh the next).

Last year, we just took it easy at home (I think Paul was under the weather). Last night, I enjoyed watching the game with Holly (with Lisa mildly paying attention and Paul around the corner at a chorus party).

What will you remember about last night’s game? Maybe a few plays. Maybe a few commercials.

But maybe the thing you will remember the most is how you spent a wonderful evening with friends or family on one of America’s unofficial National Holidays.

JG

Originally posted 2/4/2013

The Big Game

We hope to travel to Baltimore next summer and we went to San Francisco last summer.

So, as we sit here halfway between summers, I guess that’s my first attempt at finding a personal angle for tonight’s match-up in Super Bowl XLVII.

San Francisco vs. Baltimore.

Let me try another approach.

As many times as our beloved Titans came up short against the Ravens in playoffs over the years - most notably when Holly, Paul and I went to the game in January 2009 - it would be impossible to root for those Birds. The echos of gloating Raven fans seals the deal.

Holly remembers our long, quiet slog to the car through the winter muck from that night four years ago. It was fitting considering our team came so close that year.

By contrast, the one time I saw the Niners in person, they weren’t any good. Neither were the Titans. That was in ‘05. Both teams were rebuilding. None of us had high expectations that day.

One jovial fan welcomed us all to “The Suck Bowl.”

The Titans won that match-up. I was happy about the 33-22 score but, also, I’ve had positive feelings for the 49ers dating to the 80s.

So there’s no doubt who I will be pulling for, this evening, when they kick off 'The Big Game.’

Go Niners; boo Birds!

JG

Originally posted 2/3/2013