Snowmeggedon

No doubt you’ve heard the stories – or have experienced some yourself – of how Southerners go to pieces during a wintery weather event.

As a group, Southern folks are proud of their heritage; they’re tough in the face of blistering heat or oppressive humidity. Southerners love church, fried foods, and wide open spaces.

One thing we cannot embrace, however, is the white stuff.

In the midst of this latest event – what is it The Weather Channel is calling this one? – Lisa phoned to tell me that all sorts of people had spun out/wiped out on the main street in our neighborhood. Meanwhile, my dad encountered all sorts of traffic issues when he was picking up granddaughters at their elementary school.

And speaking of schools, there were all sorts of issues around town relating to the safe transportation of students home after a decision to end the school day early (a plan executed, perhaps, a smidge too late). 

By the time most of those kiddos arrived home safely, I, too, arrived at my abode. From Lisa’s report, I was expecting to have to drive my Jeep on some sort of slalom course. Alas, I was able to make it up the hill fine as most motorists managed to get their cars and trucks off the road or at least to the side.

When I got home – without incident - I just decided to park my Jeep on the street and wait it out. The road sure looks pretty.

I don’t think the folks in Atlanta would describe their experience as anything close to being pretty. Of course, the story about Braves’ legend Chipper Jones rescuing current star first baseman, Freddie Freeman, from the gridlock did bring a smile or two. 

That story brought one happy ending.

I was chatting with my friend Steve in Atlanta. You remember I mentioned last week how he and I had been able to get back in touch via email.

Anyway, he told me that in ‘the ATL’ they are referring to this event as ‘Snowmeggedon.’ By now, you’ve surely read about how cars were stuck in the interstate gridlock in and around town. And to think, I curse the traffic there when I go to a Braves game.

By last count this morning, things were still not improving much down south.

But, that wasn’t the only report of difficult travel.

I want to give a shout out to my best friend, Ed. He was driving back from a business trip (and, coincidentally, passing through East TN). He found treacherous driving conditions as well. He finally decided to pull over and spend one last night on the road for safety’s sake.

Sounds like a good decision.

My high school friend Bill, who lives in South Carolina, gave an update from Columbia. I read they have a combined total of nine snow plows in the capitol city of the Palmetto State. Undoubtedly, that armada couldn’t keep up with the advancing storm. Another colleague who was traveling in Birmingham said the city was just overwhelmed by the icy precipitation. She reported everything there had come to a halt.

The sum total of all these tales of woe is this: We don’t do snow. Throw in some ice and the picture worsens. 

The South is marked by sweet tea and sweeter accents. We are known for our friendliness and our football. But one thing that is not in our skill set is driving in wintery weather.

It’s fun to look at but that’s about it. Add in a few panicky drivers freaking out and everything comes to a crawl.

So, here’s my thing: I’ll just wait it out. Give me a comfy couch, a nice warm blanket and an episode of Andy Griffith and I’ll be just fine. Wake me when spring comes. 

Won’t we all be hearing from The Groundhog on Sunday?

JG

Originally posted 1/29/2014