My Name is Gary, Jeff Gary

Years ago, I gave up.

When I was a young whipper snapper – full of vinegar…and the other stuff – I used to make a big deal about it.  As I have gotten older, and more mellow, I’ve just started to shrug it off.

For whatever reason, people have a hard time getting my name right.

It’s a simple matter, you’d think. Two words; three syllables. Somehow, though, there is a mental block.

Maybe I should’ve adopted the James Bond approach to introductions. My name is Gary, Jeff Gary.
 

No, that seems like copycat behavior. Maybe it’d be better to just say I am one of the People of Gary!

When I was a child, it seemed like the problem was the last name. Folks didn’t want to believe that Gary was actually a last name. So, people assumed we were the Gray family. I remember my mother chuckling when she picked up a catalog order from Sears. The package was marked for ‘The Grays.’

The mystical Gray family got scads of parcels and direct mail over the years. Occasionally, Garretts and Garveys would receive pieces as well.

When I grew up, got married and started a family, a funny thing happened.

No one seemed to get my last name wrong any more; it’s just that they thought it was my first name.

I can’t tell you how many times someone will start an email message or conversation with “Now, Gary, what do you think?” or “This is Gary…” Often, they’ll catch the mistake mid-sentence and correct on the fly, citing the fact I have “two first names…”

I will often quip, to them, that I really have THREE first names but I’m not fond of my middle name, so I usually just keep that one to myself.

On a couple occasions, if I was feeling playful with someone – and felt like they’d realize it was a joke meant in good fun – I’ll come back by using their last name.

“So, Gary, what do you think?”
“I don’t know, Johnston, what’s your opinion?”

That one often brought – wait for it - the inevitable light bulb moment.

Then as the years went by, as I mentioned earlier, I just dropped the practice. Like I said before, as have gotten older, it just didn’t matter as much. 

I did daydream at one point that, if I were to ever run for public office, I could build a pretty funny campaign centered around the malaprops. But, you know what? I’m not planning to run for public office at this point.

I just plan to keep blogging.

And sometime soon, I will meet someone new or talk to someone who has met me. He or she will call me ‘Gary’ and I’ll smile and be polite. Like so many other times, I won’t think twice about it.

JG

Originally posted 11/29/2013