I’ve told you a lot about some of my conversations with my best friend, Ed. We talk about many different topics – from UT Vols sports to our nostalgic ‘remember when’ to current updates about our families.
Recently, he and I started an email thread on the topic of ‘civility.’ I guess he and I had both experienced a lack of it during a couple recent situations. We compared notes.
My stories were about a couple of recent chorus concerts. In one instance, there was a cluster of audience members who talked during the entire performance (and it wasn’t just students…moms were involved as well). Even my quick glances in their direction didn’t seem to slow them down. A week or so later, I went to another concert and, during the pre-show announcements, the emcee asked that audience members with crying babies (or restless toddlers) take them out to the lobby to help calm them.
Almost on cue, a young dad sitting behind me let his little one wail for quite a while without following those earlier instructions. Apparently, those guidelines didn’t apply to him.
Ed’s story was very different but no less frustrating. He was concerned when he heard a teenager use the term ‘BFE’ (and we all know what the ‘F’ means). When he related that story to me, I remarked about how there is a slang, euphemism/substitute that people now seem comfortable using without any regard to what it really means.
We both shrugged our shoulders. What can two old high school buddies do to stem the tide of informality and lack of civility that seems to be all around us.
Some examples:
- Drivers who love to ride up the merge lane to the last minute and then force their way into on-coming traffic as though it was their birthright to merge
- The accepted practice of wearing old sweat pants, athletic pants or even your jammies to make a quick shopping trip to Wal-Mart, Kroger or (insert name of retailer
- A lady blows past a sign at the airport that says ‘no admittance.’ A security officer chases her down and she explains to him why she needs the exception to the rule (that was one of Ed’s recent examples)
Ed travels a lot with work, you see. He sees a lot. He was telling me about many of his recent travel experiences, including the recent example of a white knuckle airline passenger who talked incessantly before and during a recent flight. He was quite tolerant - for a while. Eventually, he began giving plenty of cues that he really needed to tend to his work and his laptop and that, really, the conversation needed to end.
I gather it ended when the plane touched down.
Speaking of flying, he also took an overseas business trip to Russia last year. Recently, he recounted some of his observations. Russian airlines don’t have the greatest safety records – at least not compared to U.S. carriers – but apparently their flight attendants approach their job with great aplumb. The professionalism includes the service they provide as well as their adherence to dress code (think early 1960’s Pan Am).
It’s not that our flight attendants are slouches. They’re not. They’re hard-working and very helpful. But, what Ed described is just at a different level.
And once he landed in Russia, he discovered more examples of professionalism. For example, the factory employees approached their jobs meticulously. Lunchtime was even a big deal. They would take the time and effort to change clothes from their dirty work duds into something nice and fashionable when they left the plant to take their lunch break at a near-by eatery.
Can you imagine U.S. workers taking that step?
There are plenty of great aspects to American life – our hard work, our ingenuity, our sentimentality, our patriotism. It’s just that our language, our behavior, and adherence to decorum and dress codes could be tightened up just a bit.
I guess when you are comparing notes, it’s not bad to remember the many great things about our society that far outweigh the bad. You do this even as you mark down a few opportunities for improvement.
JG
Originally posted 3/25/2013
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