Thanksgiving Surprise

I’d love to tell you that my Thanksgiving Surprise involves a long-lost relative coming home or the end of a falling out with a friend that was celebrated over a slice of gramma’s pumpkin pie.

Alas, this story didn’t come from The Hallmark Channel.

To set the stage, you have to understand that after my family moved here from Memphis, we’d often go back to West Tennessee for holidays and special occasions. Just before we headed out of town during this particularly cold November, I found an interesting orb-shaped object in my front yard. I stuck it next to the stacks of Topps baseball cards and lines of Hot Wheels card that adorned my room in those days.

Going to see the Gary Family in Memphis was, in a way, a big surprise in its own regard. At a true family gathering, I’d be welcomed by both grandparents, hugged and teased (not necessarily in that order) by 6 uncles and 6 aunts and entertained by up to 12 cousins.

When I say it was a family gathering, it was a family gathering. The Gary farm was a great place to have such events and a fun place for a little shaver to explore.

I remember summer picnics in the barbecue area just off to the front  of the house; I remember my dad rescuing me when I froze and nearly didn’t throw a firecracker (that happened just off the front porch) and, on this Thanksgiving occasion, I remember playing with cousins under the great wall of photos that hung in the main room just to the right of the stairs that took you up into the dining room.

I loved exploring the place where my dad and his siblings grew up. We had a great Thanksgiving that year and I treasured every visit with my relatives! Soon, it was time to head back to East Tennessee when the weekend was winding down.

The drive home at the end of that Thanksgiving weekend provided a little surprise, as we encountered freak late-autumn snowstorm on the Cumberland Plateau. We had to slow down and navigate the treacherous terrain. Eventually, we made it home fairly late on that Sunday night.

I opened the door to my bedroom and there all across the wall was a collection of nearly 100 baby praying mantises waiting to welcome me home. The orb, you see, had hatched.

Left to its own devices out in the cold, the mantis egg probably would’ve lasted until spring as it was designed to do. But when I brought it inside to the super-heated climate of our home, I reset the time clock. And at some point that weekend, the egg popped open and out came the critters.

As much as I might’ve liked to have them for small pets, that was not to be. Unfortunately, we had to vacuum them, quickly, before the fanned out down the hall. Really, there just wasn’t a choice.

In later years, I’ve seen that those orb-like objects are sold for healthy amounts of money for farmers who want to deploy the mantesis as organic pest control (or to mantis enthusiasts who just want to have them around).

That weekend, I was neither. I was just a little kid…with a big Thanksgiving Surprise.

JG

Originally posted 11/21/2012

The Waiting

We’re just not good waiters.

Well, I mean, people who are paid to work as restaurant servers can be excellent waiters, but that’s not what I mean. People in our society are conditioned not to enjoy their stay in a queue.

Recently, for example, numerous Knox Countians participated in early voting for the 2012 Presidential Election. The people I talked to were extremely praiseworthy about the early voting process. They talked about how they were “in and out quickly” and didn’t have to endure a long wait.

I think the ‘no waiting’ part is what has pushed people away from the traditional voting on Election Day habit.

We just don’t like to wait. Have you heard anything positive about a trip to your local post office during the holidays? If not, just check one out starting next week and see the lines.

How long are you willing to wait for a table at your favorite restaurant? Most people blanche when told they won’t be seated for 30 minutes or more. This desire has created the ‘call ahead seating’ practice.

Traffic. The coffee shop. The drive thru. The doctor’s office. Even a wait for your turn to (ahem) use the facilities. We just don’t like to wait.

Over the weekend, Lisa and I were telling Holly about the grueling ‘drop and add’ process from our college days. Again, the part we focused on was how long the line was and how it snaked up and down the halls at UT’s old University Center before it, in some cases, extended outside onto the plaza.

It was never a pleasant wait but it could be particularly uncomfortable when you went back to school in January after Winter Break.

Lisa joked that “Kids these days have it easy…” when you compare the ease of drop/add via the computer versus the long line and associated wait that guaranteed you nothing more than a chance to stand at a computer terminal with an operator who’d let you know if there were any slots available in Psych 101 or Journalism 2215.

More often than not, you weren’t able to pick up what you wanted after that long wait but usually you were able to get something workable.

Recently, I have encountered a couple situations in which a wait was guaranteed.

In my old job, on certain days, I’d go to lunch at one particular restaurant. If you were unlucky, you’d get in a line behind this one person who was nominated to pick up lunch for her entire office.

Mind you, she didn’t call the order in ahead of time. Instead, she had it scribbled on a piece of notebook paper. And, get this, she’d pay for each order (up to 5  or 6) separately.

I always called her “And Then” because she’d place one order and then, just as you were hoping she might be finished, she’d say “And Then, I’d also like to order a (insert name of entrée).

It might go something like this:

Lady: “I’d like to order a grilled chicken salad with ranch dressing on the side and a glass of sweet tea.”
Cashier: “Is that all?”
Lady: “And Then, I’d like to order an individual sized cheese pizza with a medium coke, And Then…”

You get the idea. Six separate orders. Pay cash for the first two. Then a credit card. Then cash. Then a different credit card.

You were always guaranteed a long wait when you were in line behind ‘And Then.’

I think the worst place to be, if you want a short wait, is in line at your local quickie mart behind a lottery enthusiast.

Now, before I go on, let me say, I have nothing against Lottery Tennessee, personally or philosophically. I used to hate to hear stories of people rushing across our borders to spend money in other states just for an astronomical chance to win.

Still, if you’re in a hurry and you just need to tell the clerk “I had $10 on Pump 7…” you’ll be standing there for a while if you’re behind Mr. Instant Winner. And hope like heck he DOESN’T win because if he does, generally, that $4 will instantly buy more tickets!

It seems players have their own unique strategy…and strategy doesn’t move quickly.

Still, I am teaching myself patience when it comes to the lottery ticket buyers. In fact, Lottery Tennessee has been quite generous in helping to pay for the Tennessee Hope Scholarship and our family has benefited from that program (and hope to again next year). The program has funded higher education scholarships in the state for a number of years…and that’s a good thing.

So, I tell them…keep on playing. I will keep on waiting!

Patiently.

JG

Originally posted 11/19/2012

Over the River and…What the Heck!

In case you haven’t looked at Mapquest recently and you live in the heart of the Tennessee Valley, you will note…we live at the convergence of:

• Interstate 40 (East-West route that goes from NC to CA)
• Interstate 75 (North-South route that goes from MI to FL)
• Interstate 81 (Northeast-Southeast route that…starts here and goes to PA)

Draw a big circle around the metro area and a big dot in the heart of Knoxville. It looks like a big bulls-eye.

That’s what we’re facing today and tomorrow folks.

Before you get the idea that I’m going all ‘Bah Humbug" about Thanksgiving Week, please understand…I’m not. I love Thanksgiving Week.

It’s the travel through town the two days before Thanksgiving that I’m not so keen on.

Thanksgiving travel can be a nightmare. And we’re just driving a few miles. I tip my cap to those weary travelers who must go hundreds of miles.

The extra vehicles on our area roadways during a concentrated period of time makes it tough for everyone, though.

Here’s an example. Last year, I was in the downtown area. I left to head west to my house (a trip that normally takes about 30ish minutes). It took me nearly an hour and a half to get home! When I left the downtown area, I timed my trip so as to beat a line of very heavy rain that was heading this way.

I cut it too close.

I-40 was a parking lot. By the time I had gotten halfway home, the deluge began. That only had to the challenging travel conditions. Thing is…it wasn’t just last year. It was last year. The year before last year. The year before that.

And, I predict it’s coming again.

I wouldn’t be shocked if, when we all go out to make the commute home this evening, we do so with many MANY more fellow travelers at our side. We know the alternate routes; they don’t.

My plan is that I plan to enjoy taking the long way home and I predict I’ll get home faster because of it.

My advice to you is to do the same. Be patient. And, you might want to pack a nice 'book on tape’ for the ride.

JG

(Source: weather.com)

Originally posted 11/20/2012

Dooley: I’ll Pay You Back Someday

In Vol Nation, as the football team goes, so does the mood of the community.

Over the past few weeks, the mood of Vol Nation has become increasingly anxiety-filled with loss after gut-wrenching loss. If the Mizzou meltdown (losing in 4 OT last week) wasn’t enough, an unmitigated embarrassment on national television last night in the form of a 41-18 loss to perennial in-state little brother, Vanderbilt, did the trick.

The fact that there was an earthquake in East Tennessee just before the kickoff of the Mizzou game seemed to be metaphorical. There were no such rumblings last night…unless you count the collective stomach churning of Big Orange fans.

After three disappointing seasons, it became clear that the University of Tennessee had to make a move with its football coaching situation. So, it was no surprise that we all awoke to the news this morning that Vols Athletic Director Dave Hart had made the decision to fire Head Coach Derek Dooley.

The firing won’t come cheap. The Vols are on the hook to pay Dooley $5 over the course of the next four years. That comes out to a bit more than $100K per month.

The Vols are no strangers to making extended payouts to former head coaches. At one point in recent basketball history, they were paying two former head coaches and the current coach all at the same time.

And it was under the previous Athletic Director’s regime that the Vols seemed to struggle when it came to selecting the right leaders for its various sports programs.

Alumni and supporters alike are hoping the current AD takes his time and gets it right. Goodness knows there has been enough upheaval in the football program these last five years.

Really, one earthquake is enough.

JG

(Source: knoxnews.com)

Originally posted 11/18/2012

Beautiful Music

Paul was quite young when I worked at Maryville College; for that matter, so was Holly.

They spent a lot of time exploring the campus in those days. We even found ways to work the College into our bedtime stories as a backdrop for some of the adventures of our favorite characters.

It’s been a while since Paul has been on the Maryville College campus but he’s there tonight along with a strong contingent of his fellow FHSers. The new Clayton Center for the Arts is playing host to some of Tennessee’s finest young singers this weekend at the annual East Tennessee Vocal Association (ETVA) All East event.

The ETVA website describes All-East as: All-East is an annual ETVA event featuring performances by the All-East TN Middle School, Freshmen, Men’s, Women’s, and SATB Choruses. On the weekend before Thanksgiving the students meet for two days of rehearsals with guest conductors and give a performance at the end of the weekend. Participation in an All-East Chorus is competitive and is a source of great pride to students and their directors. Participation in an All-East chorus is a prerequisite for a position in the Tennessee All-State Chorus.

If you’ve been reading the blog for a while, you might recall I wrote about last year’s performance which took place near Chattanooga. It was amazing.

And I suspect this year’s event will be equally spectacular. After two days of intense study, on Saturday afternoon, we will all be treated to beautiful music.

As I recall, Paul probably did a little singing when he was exploring the MC campus as a tot; this time, however, I imagine it will sound quite different.

JG

(Source: etva.org)

Originally posted 11/15/2012

Mind Your Manors

The other day, I heard about a random shoot-out at a West Knoxville apartment complex.

Now, mind you, most of the time, the local media stretches my definition of ‘West’ Knoxville to include anything that is, essentially, west of downtown. So, it’s not odd to read a story about something that happens near the UT campus and find it described as 'West.’

Technically correct; functionally not so much.

Anyway, I didn’t think too much of the story at the time. The News Sentinel article said it took place at the Manor View Apartments. Then, as luck would have it, this morning I drove by the apartment complex where Lisa and I lived early in our marriage.

Turns out it is the same one. In those days, however, we knew it as Plantation Manor.

In the world of re-branding, I guess Manor View has a better connotation than Plantation Manor. But, that caused me to wonder who wanted to name the place for a plantation in the first place. It doesn’t look anything like a plantation. It’s a bunch of buildings carved out of the side of a hill!

Is that kind of the same thing as Coke and 'New Coke’ back in the day?

Or is it more like Prince and the “Artist Formerly Known as Prince?”

Or maybe it is more like the product consumers once knew as “Oil of Olay” (which my father-in-law jokingly called “Oil for Old Ladies”). Now it is simply “Olay!”

Ole’!

Anyway, the whole news story thing reminded me of a few things about the old apartment. I used to play tennis with some guys who were high school friends of my sister (and later we all became friends, too). There were three of them and they needed a fourth. I was just downstairs.

The place had a nice pool, too, which was centrally located on the premises.

Lisa and I like to remember some fun times from our Plantation Manor days. For example, once we heard the old song “Don’t Worry. Be Happy.” When the line came up about the landlord being mad when the rent was late, we were reminded that we had forgotten to pay ours. I scurried up the hill and put our check in the night drop just ahead of the deadline.

We also learned some valuable lessons during our years at this apartment.

I, for one, learned that it is NOT a good idea to give a surprise party for someone who doesn’t like surprise party. For the record, it wasn’t my idea! I was just the ’party of the second part’ for…ahem…the party.

And, to be honest, I didn’t get in TOO much hot water for that one.

Those were some good times. It was a nice place to live, then. Of course, we didn’t have a Cheddar’s or a Wal Mart just around the corner.

Of course, I don’t recall that we had any shootings, either.

JG

Originally posted 11/14/2012

First Days

The First Day on a job can be stressful; at the same time a First Day can be (and often is) an exhilarating experience. In some ways, it’s kind of like the First Day of school!

After my First Day on the new job yesterday, I started thinking back to some other First Days over the course of my career. I have had some good ones.

Of course we all have to start somewhere. My first part-time job, where I worked when I was a senior at FHS, was at Rax Roast Beef. I really worked hard at that job and I think that is where I really honed a work ethic. Naturally, when you are the man responsible for cleaning the bathrooms, filtering the dirty fryer grease and washing all the dishes, there isn’t a lot of glory!

After about six months of hard work, I got promoted to Salad Bar!

One of the things I will always remember about my Rax experience was how we clocked in. We put a time card in a slot in one of the cash registers and plugged in our Social Security number (and then pushed ‘send’). I memorized by SSN by the constant clocking in/clocking out procedure.

For a first one, it was a good job.

The work ethic I learned at the Rax job would serve me well many years later when I was working in the newspaper business. In newspaper, you work hard all the time.

I remember my first days as the first editor of the Farragut Press. I was hired to be the first editor and I was part of the team that helped start that paper. I am very proud of that experience, too. I remember setting up our shop in Farragut Towne Center - just down from where the Farragut Press is currently located.

It was a fun and exciting time to be in Farragut and I’m proud to have been a part of that.

Soon, I jumped into the world of P.R. and my first P.R. job was at Children’s Hospital. For your first day at Children’s, they used to have you start on Tuesday and you had an all-day, fun, orientation called 'Tuned in Tuesday’ (they may still do this for all I know).

It was a great way to learn about the hospital and to develop a new group of friends with all the other folks who started to work at their new jobs the same day.

First Days can be fun and memorable. When I was hired at Maryville College, MC was in the midst of celebrating its 175th Anniversary. My first task was to read the college history and come up with 175 facts about MC. Believe me, at such a colorful and beloved institution, it wasn’t hard to count to 175!

And that fall at Homecoming, alums and fans of all ages enjoyed the festivities.

JG

Originally posted 11/13/2012