The other night, at dinner with friends, I had the opportunity to tell – once again – the truncated story about how I found out I was allergic to mushrooms.
“A few of them snuck onto a pizza I ordered once when I was in college,” I recalled. “And a few minutes after the pizza was delivered…I knew.”
“What happened?” was the reply and I decided that dinner was not the appropriate time to give gory details.
“Tummy troubles,” I said, gingerly, and the conversation shifted to something more delectable. The sad fact is pizza is probably my favorite of all guilty pleasures…but not that night.
The toadstool topic arose when one of my friends ordered mushrooms for one of her side items. I’m always fairly jovial when someone else has them. I just need to be careful that I don’t partake.
Most cooks in our family know that it is best to substitute any other ‘cream of’ soup in recipes rather than the ubiquitous cream of mushroom. In fact, at a church committee meeting the other night, the topic of casseroles for an upcoming luncheon was discussed and I inquired sheepishly: “Can we make a few of them with cream of chicken soup?”
Sadly, I won’t be eating mushroom at that meal.
And really, it’s not that big of a sacrifice. I mean, at the end of the day, I’m not sure I would want to eat a champignon (as the French call it) even if given the choice. I realize that most mushrooms grown for consumption in our culture, today, are grown on a farm. But, I still can’t get over the fact that they are, after all, a piece of fungus.
When we were kids, I remember my friend Dana used to delight in picking the ones that we called ‘puff balls’ (you can imagine the type). He’d fire one at a tree and chuckle when the orb would strike the bark and then shatter into hundreds of pieces.
I think of him, occasionally, when one of those pops up in my current yard and, yes, I have been known to replicate his activity with the arbors in the woods behind my house.
I know, consciously, there is a difference but I just can’t imagine getting worked up over eating one. I realize some folks view them as a delicacy and let’s just say my abstinence leaves more for them!
Yes, they’re delicious; sure, they’re healthy. But, I think I’d better pass.
Still, you say potato, I say potAHto. I can’t conjure a positive thought about them. Even a trip to Thesaurus.com didn’t help. When items proliferate or multiple at a rapid rate, we say they ‘mushroom.’ And a cloud of destruction is known as a ‘mushroom cloud.’ Even describing the color, thesaurus gives us the collection of: off-white, beige, neutral and other similar synonyms.
Nothing particularly vibrant in that list.
Some of you reading this may concur with my position but I suspect many others will disagree. And that’s fine. But I’ve had my opinion for quite a while now.
And remember…it all started with a pizza.
JG
Originally posted 2/5/2015
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