In Cars

The subject of automobiles has come up a lot in conversation recently.

Last night, we were having dinner with some friends and just before we each made a mad dash to our vehicles to beat the oncoming rain shower, everyone admired each other’s ‘ride.’

The topic has also been common at my work place as one of my colleagues recently traded vehicles.

And at our house over the summer, as we bought a used car for Paul – and planned ahead to Lisa’s next vehicle purchase – there was a lot of focus on cars; lots of test drives in cars before we picked the winner. 

So with wheels on the mind, I was amused to run across this article in my Yahoo feed today that spotlighted the Top 10 ugly cars in 2014. There are some real duds on the list and a couple surprises.

The ugly car article started my mind racing about my own vehicular history. I started thinking about which vehicle from my past was the most ugly. I can honestly say there are not a lot of choices.

My first car was a 1966 Ford Mustang and car experts from sea to shining sea will tell you it is one of the all-time classics.

My ex-girlfriends were also impressed with my ride Though the persnickety mom of one old flame once teased me about ‘that old car’ I drove.  I never really knew for sure but I came to the conclusion that she must know nothing at all about automotive history.

Oh well.

Anyway, the Mustang is immediately eliminated from consideration.

My next car was a Honda Prelude and that car served me well for 200,000 miles. It was also a classic. Sleek. Modern.  Lisa and I took that car to Canada and back on our honeymoon and drove it for many more trips over the years. It was a fun ride.

Cross it off the list as well. Then, there’s Pap Gary’s truck (which I inherited). The Chevy S110. It’s been in the family 20+ years and has no hint of slowing down.

More recently, I have loved my three SUVs – two Jeep Cherokees with a Ford Expedition sandwiched in between. I will always associate the Expedition with our baseball years. We hauled a lot of baseball gear (and baseball boys) around in that vehicle.

Including very tired ones.

Meanwhile, there is Lisa’s current Honda which, like the Prelude has run for miles and miles. For that very reason alone, it is also exempt. Also, for purposes of this discussion, I can’t consider any car Lisa had before she had me!

You know what that means. There’s only one obvious nomination for my Ugliest Car Ever…and it wasn’t even a car! My choice: Our 1995 Plymouth Voyager (cue the drumroll) MINIVAN!

Now to be fair, there was nothing extraordinary about the van as you can see from this photo of me and my pal, Ed, posing by the V-ger.

We bought it in the age when boxey minivans were all the rage. But, almost from Day One, it was a lemon. And after a few rides with the spilled milk of toddlers, it had an unmistakable aroma that I can still conjure up in my mind’s eye (uh…mind’s nose) to this day.

The stereo never quite worked correctly; it had a number of mechanical issues at a very early stage and then there was this. It was green. Ugly green. Not eco-green. And, it ushered in the era of ugly green vehicles in our family tree.

My first Jeep was Chrysler green; Lisa’s current Accord is also a dark shade of green. And the 1995 Voyager was just putrid green.  No doubt, it wins the UGLY award.

Now, to be fair, we took a number of great trips in that van and our kids grew from toddlers to little kids as we carted them back and forth to daycare.  So, there are some nice memories involved with that ride.

Still, ugly is as ugly does. And my nomination for our family’s most ugly car is the V-ger. 

These are the facts of the case and they are undisputed.

JG

Originally posted 8/20/2014