A Matter of Trust

Either you trust someone or you don’t.

Lisa said she ‘went fishing’ with her dad and sisters today. Without trust, that story could sound…well…a little fishy (sorry…I couldn’t resist). I could be especially concerned they are really 'fishing for bargains’ knowing how much the sisters love to shop and considering their proximity to outlet malls!

But Lisa and I have 100% trust between the two of us and, besides, she texted me a lovely shot of a picturesque fishing hole a little while ago. 

We trust each other with everything. After all these years, I doubt either of us could pull off a good lie if we tried - even for a good deal!

I heard a story, recently, about another couple who doesn’t have it so good. The wife was going to go to lunch with a business associate who is a member of the opposite sex. When the husband found out about it he blew a gasket. Sounds like his anger level went from 0 to 100 in no time flat.

Clearly, this issue was a matter of trust. For some reason, they don’t have it.  

When I worked at Maryville College a few years ago, we were always teaching our students good life lessons on issues such as getting along with each other, solid communication and trust. It was our goal to lift up these young people with good, solid messages.

One of my supervisors had a great observation about trust. “If you can go either way - good or bad - trust the message is good,” he told me. “If the message turns out to be bad, there’ll be plenty of time to react to the news later.”

In a trusting relationship, he added, when you hear a benign statement, always go with the positive interpretation and, more often than not, you will be well-served.

I wonder if the couple in the example I mentioned above considered that basic tenant.

My dad had a similar observation on the subject of worry - very similar. I guess, you could even argue that when you give in to worry, you have surrendered a measure of trust in the outcome of a situation. I have written about this before.

Anyway, ol’ Nick’s quote was something like this: “Worry is a tax you pay on something that may or may not happen anyway.” (Hey, that rhymes…I never caught that before now).

I’m not a relationship guru or even an advice columnist. But some basic life lessons serve us all well. Make sure you have good, solid and open communication with the ones you love. Trust in what they are telling you unless they give you some reason to believe otherwise. 

And don’t worry. Generally speaking, everything will turn out alright.

JG

Originally posted 6/19/2013