Manager’s Special

We traveled to North Carolina this weekend as a part of Paul’s ongoing college search.

At one point, we stopped at an exit on the west side of Asheville to gas up and there, I had a flashback to something that happened when I was traveling in the same area back during my college days.

I visited my friend Bill Cooke a number of times after he moved to Columbia, S.C. I got to know the drive through Western NC pretty well - from Harmon Den to Hendersonville.

One thing I learned is it was best to stop in Asheville. My favorite exit  - West Asheville/Enka - was really your last good chance to fill up with gas or food before you entered a long stretch through those mountains.

One night I was heading home and I was particularly hungry as I pulled into a famous fast food establishment. I won’t call it by name…but let’s just say these folks are noted for serving millions (or is it billions?) of customers each day. I stopped in to order a large burger (let’s say it weighed about a quarter of a pound).

In those days, this particular burger came with or without cheese (I think, today, only the ‘cheese’ version is readily available though. Honestly, I don’t frequent this particular establishment nearly as much as I did during my college years). Anyway, I preferred the burger without cheese so I ordered it that way. As I made my order, I noticed there were numerous versions with cheese and none available without.

“That’s okay,” I thought. “I’ll get a fresh one.” So, I began my wait, patiently.

In retrospect, if I had it to do over again, I would’ve just asked for one with cheese and finished sooner. But, I didn’t and minute by minute, I waited as no burger 'came up’ from the grill. Five minutes became 10; ten minutes became 15.

Finally, I saw my burger (in the signature white foam box) come up on the tray and I was thinking I was just moments away from my meal. What happened next is almost surreal. After all these years, it’s like a blur.

Moving from back - entering stage right - came a lady manager. I had not seen her before this moment. She zipped in - like a bird of prey diving for a critter - and swooped up my burger. Then, almost as though she knew what was going on, she proceeded to eat the quarter pound delicacy in front of my very eyes.

Let’s call it 'The Manager’s Special.’

Honestly, I don’t think she knew that was my burger. I think she was just hungry. I can’t imagine, however, that she was any hungrier than I had become at just that moment.

The cashier saw the whole thing playing out and had an awful, embarrassed look on her face. She uttered a sheepish, “I’m sorry. We’ll make you a new one.” A few seconds later - as the manager finished wolfing my meal - she went over and whispered something to her boss.

Maybe she said something like “You dolt. You just ate that customer’s burger right in front of him…after he waited 15 minutes for it!” Or maybe it was just like, “Will you please make a new quarter pound burger, sans cheese, and will you do so very quickly?”

Very quickly, of course, is relative. I think it was about 30 minutes before I actually received my order. So much for fast food.

And when I did, it was delivered by the self-same manager who said, apologetically (But still somewhat cluelessly), “I’m so sorry for your wait. How about if I give you a free order of fries. I’m sure these are cold by now.”

You think???

Anyway, I don’t recall that I had any sort of quip. I think I just quietly said 'Thank you’ and I went to eat my food so I could get on home before the hour got any later. I do recall that I fired off a “Can you believe this?” kind of letter to corporate when I got home but I don’t recall that I got any sort of reply.

If you serve 'billions’ daily, there has to be a few crank letters, right?

Anyway, as I finished filling my tank on Friday night, I remember that stop many years earlier and I think I just had to shake my head and chuckle about it. And, fortunately, when we stopped for food on this trip, we received great food and excellent service.

No “Manager’s Specials” at all.

JG

Originally posted 1/20/2013