Morning Routine

Roger the Cat has become very demanding as he has reached middle age. You might even say he has become a ‘grumpy old man.’

Most mornings when I wake up, he’s waiting at the bottom of the stairs. At that point, he begins barking out - ahem meowing out - instructions.

He’s so much more pleasant when he’s taking a nap!

Anyway, first thing in the morning, Roger always wants me to open the front door. He actually stretches up and taps the doorknob as if to signal his intentions. About 99% of the time, I’m the first one downstairs whether it’s a weekday or weekend, so I always get to have the ‘honor.’

In the olden days, I’d open the door and he’d rush right out. But, in the last year or so, he’s much more judicious about his comings and goings. I think there were a few incidents with wildlife that spooked him somewhat. So, usually, the opening of the front door merely allows Roger to check out the world around us.

And often, he decides to stay put.

Sometimes, he’ll rush to the back door and I think to myself, “Why would it be safer in the backyard rather than the front yard?” But, at least half the time, he’ll go ahead and go outside via the screened in back porch. There’s no logic to it.

While I go back upstairs to get ready for work, he’s checking out the woods and about the time I raise the garage door to leave the house, he has usually come back and he’s ready to rush in and have his breakfast.

No matter how much food there is in the bowl, it’s never enough. He quickly comes inside and begins milling around. Frequently, he’ll tell me ‘Raanh.’ (Translation: “Feed me you dolt.”). Sometimes, if the cat food has been around for a while, he’ll complain when the food is revealed.

Lisa and I think he thinks there is SECRET food. It’s almost as if he is saying “Pardon me. If I may be so bold. Could I have the secret food instead?”

He’s disappointed to find there IS no secret food.

Finally, I get down to business. As I open up the metal cat food container to retrieve the food, he begins his latest manuever which is to actually begin pacing – as if that might hurry me up!

If you’ve never seen a cat pace, it’s quite interesting. Roger is a cat of many firsts. I’ve been around many cats but I’ve never seen a cat do this. Rog actually paces. If you didn’t know better, you’d think he was an expectant father in a made for tv movie. Full of cliches, he’d be ready to start passing out cigars in the waiting room at any moment.

That moment never comes. And, as Roger sees it, neither does the food – at least not fast enough.

The bottom line is I can NEVER open the metal container, dig out some food and pour it into his bowl fast enough. Finally, I achieve the task and he simultaneously wolfs, ahem cats, his food quickly while purring the loudest purr possible.

That’s my cue to leave.

Coming home in the evenings, I often find him on the brick ledge next to the garage to repeat the morning routine in reverse. I come home. I open the door. I enter the garage. He mills around. I start to open the metal canister. He says ‘Raah.’ He paces. I finally get the food to the spot in his bowl.

Sometimes he is already there as if in position. Ready. Set. Eat.

JG

11/8/2011